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Spooky house: Because Halloween gets shafted by Christmas these days

December 8, 2010 By 6 Comments

A while ago, while doing the realtor thing in Memphis, I had a very interesting home showing that Alex has been bugging me to write about.  Here it goes.

A former co-worker of mine at the travel agency introduced me to her daughter.  Elaine was a young woman with a good job, had saved well and thought it was time to purchase a home.  She had figured out her price point and was looking in some nice, but very reasonable neighborhoods east of Memphis.  Her father was casually scanning listings for her and giving suggestions (as fathers often do.)  He came across a very cheap home in a very nice neighborhood and suggested we take a look.  Before I took her over, I warned them that for the house to be as cheap as it was there would have to be some major problems.  The pictures in the listing didn’t seem too bad, but I did wonder at a photo of a chair under a doorknob.  It was propped under it like you do when you don’t have a lock but want to keep someone from getting in.  Elaine’s dad said if it wasn’t too bad, he’d help with repairs.  Because it could have been a great investment in a very popular neighborhood, I set up the showing.

Elaine and I showed up and went through the ritual of finding the key, knocking to make sure no one was home then entering the house.  Though it was still light outside, the house was dark because all the curtains were tightly closed.

We flipped some switches and took a look around.  First impression was that the owner had bad taste in art.  There were pieces of paper taped to the wood paneling.  I thought maybe the “art” was done by a grandkid, and then I looked around more.  The paneling was the kind that looks distressed, with little knots and wormhole marks.  At least, it should have been like that.  Masking tape had been carefully placed over each and every mark.  The vents in the living room had toweling stuffed in them.  The fireplace had been boarded up and newspapered over.  Elaine and I thought it odd, but figured maybe the owner had some sort of heating problem.  We saw several pictures in frames around the room.  None of the pictures were real, they were cut from magazines and newspapers.

We looked through the kitchen then turned to go down the hall where we assumed the bedrooms would be.  The hallway was dark.  Really dark.  The switch for the hall light didn’t work and Elaine and I both started to feel more than a little creeped out.  We laughed when I said, “I’ll go first, if I don’t come out, run and get help.”  But it was a nervous laugh.  I went to the first door and peeped in to find a pitch black room.  I flipped switches, but to no avail.  I could tell it was a bathroom because I could feel a counter, but that was it.  I went to the room across the hall, when I put my hand on the knob I pulled back quickly.  There was a washcloth tied on it.  There were cloths tied on all the doorknobs. The light switch didn’t work there, either.  I found a lamp and switched it on.  The small bedroom was junky, but uninteresting.  However, there was enough light from the lamp to shine into the bathroom.  I walked in and was startled to see that the mirror had been papered over just like the fireplace. 

At this point Elaine pointed out that even if the place were problem-free, there was no way in hell she could live somewhere that creepy.  We decided the best course of action was to leave immediately.

Of course, I went home and told Alex and my sister (who was at our home office) about the house.  Alex’s first comment was that it sounded like whoever was in the house was trying to either keep someone (or something) out, or keep it in. They were so intrigued that I set up another appointment so they could get a gander. 

This time, when we arrived, the lady who owned the house was there.  She wasn’t supposed to be, but we weren’t about to tell her to get out.  The good part was that we were able to get some lights turned on.  She made excuses about not replacing bulbs, but the fact remained that none of the mounted fixtures were working.  While she watched, we were able to get to the rest of the bedrooms.  One of them had a bunch of clothes washing powder spread over the threshold.  She said she accidentally spilled it, but the laundry room was on the other end of the house.  A powdery substance on the floor is a well-known way to keep an eye out for unseen intruders; the theory is that they’ll make foot-prints even if they’re incorporeal. 

While the washing powder may have been an assumption of the lady’s mania, the covered mirrors, blocked up vents, covered doorknobs, and fake family photos ran throughout the house.  One of the weirder finds was when my sister pulled back one of the shower curtains to find the tub filled with water and a huge lump of towels.  We looked at the other tub; it was also filled with water and towels.

The car in the carport had a thick layer of dust from lack of use.  That chair I saw in the picture securing the door?  It was there.  We didn’t ask if something was trying to get in the lady’s home.  I really didn’t want to know if it was all in her mind or not. 

I have no idea if she actually sold the house.  The last I heard, she had eight offers that she refused to answer.  I wonder if she thought whatever plagued her would follow her to the next home?

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Short sale complete: Losing the “American Dream”

September 27, 2010 By 7 Comments

Is the American Dream More Like a Nightmare?

We had great news last week; our home in Memphis finally sold.  After an excruciating nine months, we were finally out from under that burden.  Actually, we’d been trying to sell for two years, so the pain had been in place much longer.  We endured endless phone calls from mortgage service people who don’t speak English well, hurtful comments about the condition of the house (it’s a short sale, do you really expect updated appliances on a house priced at half its appraisal?) three foreclosure announcements, the pile of trash mail that came after each foreclosure announcement, one closing fall through, and one offer fall through.  For my trouble I have not-quite-as-trashed credit and the possibility of being taxed on the “forgiven” amount of the loan – because obviously that’s actually earned money with which I bought champagne and bonbons while on an extravagant vacation.

But, it was worth it.  I feel like I dealt as responsibly as possible with the situation.  If you think you are in trouble and will not be able to pay for your home, I highly recommend you get the process started.  These days, you don’t even have to be behind on the loan to get help.  There are now a lot of realtors out there who deal with short sales and a lot of companies who will help you through every step. 

I recently read a Time magazine article that questioned whether home ownership is a good idea anymore.  I’m beginning to think they are right.  What seemed like a great investment at the time turned into a nightmare.  Admittedly, I had refinanced the house, but not for the total amount they offered.  I wanted to keep it at 80% of value, just in case.  Well, the case came, and I couldn’t sell for 60%, let alone 80%. 

Owning a home means for many that they can’t pick up and leave if they find a job somewhere else.  You have to deal with upkeep, repairs, and taxes.  On the other hand, you can’t decorate as you please or garden in the backyard, and many landlords won’t let you have pets.

I’m a little leery of the whole thing right now.  Maybe renting for a while is what I need.  Though I really like Pittsburgh, if something spectacular came along for Alex or me, I’d want to be able to pursue it.  We’ve been anxious about being able to buy again, but maybe it’s not such a bad idea to take a break from the whole home-ownership thing.

I don’t know.  What do you think?  Are you happy owning your home or were you better off renting?  If you rent, how do you feel about the prospect of buying right now?

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Looking for a home

September 1, 2010 By 1 Comment

Yesterday, Alex and I went to check out a house for sale.  I know, it seems crazy, what with the one we already own still in short sale, but this one cost just $16,000.  We could pay cash for that and still have some left over to pay the bills.  My sister-in-law, K, was looking through the paper on Sunday, saw it and immediately told Alex.  She doesn’t usually get excited over the really cheap houses, but this one is in Oakmont, a very nice area outside of Pittsburgh. 

The ad said that it needed a “little TLC,” which is usually realtor-speak for “complete gut job.” Now remember, we were in the business of buying houses and fixing them up to sell or rent.  We don’t scare easily when it comes to ugly paint, gross kitchens and mysterious foul odors.  Those things used to be the smell of money to us since no one in their right mind would buy such a place to live in.  But this time, we’re looking for somewhere to live, not flip, and we have neither the money nor the credit for a major overhaul.   

But, I figured, “what the heck” and phoned the owner.  The owner said house belonged to her now-deceased mother who had moved in with her before she passed away.  She said it needed a lot of work and that it hadn’t been lived in for over a year.  She and her husband “just want to get rid of it and not worry anymore.”  With that statement, the old investor bells and whistles went off in my head; I couldn’t help it.  Even though it is sad about her mother, that kind of talk lets anyone who is in the biz know that there might be a real bargain on the horizon.  Most people consider carpet and paint to be “tons of work.”  They don’t know how cheap and easy that is, or that you can redo baths and kitchens pretty reasonably.

That being said, $16k is REALLY CHEAP for Pittsburgh.  I went fully expecting a hovel that would best be renovated with some gasoline and a match.  I was surprised to find that unless there is a severe problem hiding in the foundation (which is possible, there were some saggy floors – but what do you expect from something built in the 20s?) it was in pretty good shape.  It’s small; two bedrooms, one bath, a living room, dining room, kitchen, basement and tiny yard.  And it is on the one street in Oakmont with rednecks and crap houses.  But it has definite potential to be a cute little home, and that Oakmont address is a very good thing.

“So, what’s the problem?” you may ask.  Sounds like a great bargain at the edge of a nice area.

I’m frakkin’ scared.  That’s the problem.

Alex and I worked out how much it would take to do the things that would absolutely have to be done in order to live comfortably (carpet and paint, fix up the kitchen, fence the yard).  We could do it, but it would eat up the vast majority of the savings we have and leave very little for emergencies.  On the other hand, it would undeniably be a good investment; fixed up it would be worth more than twice what we would put in, probably more.  Plus, we’d spend the same amount in rent in only two years.  But all I could think about were the drawbacks.  It’s not in the city, like we were planning.  It is very small with little closet space, there’s no off-street parking, the bathroom (and there’s only one with a weird toilet in the basement) is miniscule and needs updating, we’d have to constantly clean up after the dogs in the yard, and the street may never become as gentrified as the rest of the area.   Yet all these reasons are really just excuses.

Some of it comes down to Alex not having a permanent job.  If he wasn’t working a contract, temporary position and was making a little more, I’d be inclined to jump right in.  Well…more inclined.   I’m also held back by having blown it with the business.  I just don’t trust my instincts anymore.  What would happen if we bought the house, fixed it up, and something we hadn’t noticed cropped up?  We wouldn’t be able to repair it and we’d be right back at R and K’s house, with even less than we started.  Alex is confident we could pull it off, but has the same reservations about timing that I do.  He’s also very supportive and says my instincts are fine. (I do love my husband for that.)

We’ve decided not to buy the house.  I think it is the best course to take.  At this point in time, the security of a full-time permanent job is essential for us to feel safe investing in any new home.  We may end up having to rent for a while, but that’s just what we’ll have to do.  I can’t have any regrets about this; I’m just going to trust that the right place will come along when we’re ready.

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