Kindness from a stranger

Sometimes, it takes hardship to remember that there are people out there, even strangers, who are kind.  I spend a lot of time grousing at bad drivers, frowning at rude people in stores, and shaking my head at the terrible things you hear people do to each other on the news.  It’s nice to find out that there are folks out there who care what happens to you, even if you don’t know them.

If you read my last post, you’ll know that the short-sale for my house in Memphis finally went through.  It was a painful time that is finally over and I was glad to close the door on that chapter.  But something nice came of it. 

The new owners of the home found a box of photos and other memories in the attic that I did not mean to leave behind.  They contacted me through my blog and will be mailing the box to me.  You can see Roy’s comment after the post.

I have to admit, the note made me a little verklempt.  We had left some junk behind.  By the time moving day came around, we were tired, unhappy, and frightened for our future.  Some of the stuff was actually there when we moved in and we hadn’t gotten rid of it ourselves.  We should have cleared out everything, but it was enough to warrant getting a dumpster, and we didn’t have the money for one.  We could have left it all on the curb, but I’m sure the neighbors wouldn’t have liked that either; and as I said, we were tired.  It’s not an excuse, just a reason.  If I had discovered my box of memories lost, I would have said to myself, “Well, that’s what you get for leaving a mess in the attic.  You should have been more careful.”

Roy found the box in the middle of the pile of junk and is going out of his way to be nice by sending the box.  There is no reason he should have bothered to contact me, but he did.  He tells me that he and his family are planning on staying in the house a long time, and I’m very glad of it.  I fully expected that an investor would buy it and fix it up to sell, which would have been ok.  That could have been Alex and me a couple of years ago, and it would be a good investment.  But it’s more satisfying to know that someone will be living there from the beginning, and hopefully enjoying the place as much as I did.

There are good, kind people out there that you have never met before.  Give them a chance to show you.

Short sale complete: Losing the “American Dream”

Is the American Dream More Like a Nightmare?

We had great news last week; our home in Memphis finally sold.  After an excruciating nine months, we were finally out from under that burden.  Actually, we’d been trying to sell for two years, so the pain had been in place much longer.  We endured endless phone calls from mortgage service people who don’t speak English well, hurtful comments about the condition of the house (it’s a short sale, do you really expect updated appliances on a house priced at half its appraisal?) three foreclosure announcements, the pile of trash mail that came after each foreclosure announcement, one closing fall through, and one offer fall through.  For my trouble I have not-quite-as-trashed credit and the possibility of being taxed on the “forgiven” amount of the loan – because obviously that’s actually earned money with which I bought champagne and bonbons while on an extravagant vacation.

But, it was worth it.  I feel like I dealt as responsibly as possible with the situation.  If you think you are in trouble and will not be able to pay for your home, I highly recommend you get the process started.  These days, you don’t even have to be behind on the loan to get help.  There are now a lot of realtors out there who deal with short sales and a lot of companies who will help you through every step. 

I recently read a Time magazine article that questioned whether home ownership is a good idea anymore.  I’m beginning to think they are right.  What seemed like a great investment at the time turned into a nightmare.  Admittedly, I had refinanced the house, but not for the total amount they offered.  I wanted to keep it at 80% of value, just in case.  Well, the case came, and I couldn’t sell for 60%, let alone 80%. 

Owning a home means for many that they can’t pick up and leave if they find a job somewhere else.  You have to deal with upkeep, repairs, and taxes.  On the other hand, you can’t decorate as you please or garden in the backyard, and many landlords won’t let you have pets.

I’m a little leery of the whole thing right now.  Maybe renting for a while is what I need.  Though I really like Pittsburgh, if something spectacular came along for Alex or me, I’d want to be able to pursue it.  We’ve been anxious about being able to buy again, but maybe it’s not such a bad idea to take a break from the whole home-ownership thing.

I don’t know.  What do you think?  Are you happy owning your home or were you better off renting?  If you rent, how do you feel about the prospect of buying right now?

Are career fairs really worth it?

When I was still looking for a job in Memphis, I went to a couple of “career fairs” around town.  Alex has participated in several in Memphis, Atlanta, and Pittsburgh.  From my own experience and talking with others, I have come to the conclusion that most of these fairs are a colossal waste of time.

In a completely unscientific poll conducted on Facebook and Twitter, I asked friends, family and followers if anyone had ever gotten a job from a career fair, or if they even knew of someone who did.  I had one friend reply that he had landed a nine-month contract job with a cell phone company (I don’t know what the job was.)  That’s it.  One friend was hoping for a job from a recently attended fair, but the word is still out on that one. 

I did have one HR friend say that she had hired “a few” people from fairs.  A company that runs career fairs responded that they always poll their participants afterwards and that “hundreds” have been hired (This was from a Canadian company who says they have filled jobs ranging from entry level food service to corporate management.  Their website looked very nice.  Post a comment if you’d like to get their info; they were really nice.) 

Let me qualify something: I am speaking of your run-of-the-mill, found it in the newspaper or advertised online job fair.  I am not talking about the one run by your university’s engineering school, a specific organization’s fair (ex. Association of American Museums) or an internal fair that lets employees see how they can move up the ranks.  Those are all limited to people who are connected with those organizations, making participants somewhat pre-screened.

The career fairs I have been to and heard about attract thousands of hopefuls for less than a hundred jobs.  They have booths that invite you to become salesmen; usually cell phones, insurance, and pest control.  There are a couple of hotels that encourage you to get into the exciting career of banquet service.  Generally, you see at least two temp agencies and colleges offering undergrad and associate degrees.  And, of course, there is at least one recruiter from a military branch. 

I’m sorry, but with the exception of the military, not one of those categories screams “career” to me.  Job, yes.  But career?  No.  The reason the cell phone people et al are constantly there is because few make a lifetime career out of selling their product.  Perhaps they begin there, then move on to management but more than likely they go to another job that will pay them more.  I guess you could say that it is the beginning of a general career in sales, but their constant need for staffing implies no one sticks around too long. 

I attended the career fairs dressed in business attire and armed with resumes.  I was stunned at the number of people who did neither of these things.  It would seem the exhibitors are used to this as a couple of the booths automatically told me I was overqualified for their jobs after a short glance at me and the resume.   Some booths didn’t even take the resume because they weren’t really hiring.  The educational booths were no good for me.  I was there because I needed to earn money, not get another loan; besides, I have two undergrad degrees already.

Someone must be getting jobs at these things or they wouldn’t continue to exist. Here’s my advice if you are bound and determined to go to one:

  • Make sure you know who is going to be there.  If you see a company you’re interested in, it probably won’t hurt to go.  If nothing looks promising, don’t bother.
  • Don’t expect to get a job.  Look at it more as an exercise in networking.
  • Don’t pay to get in unless you can honestly justify spending the time and money with the very real possibility it won’t get you a job – this is probably not the best use of job-hunting cash.
  • Dress nice, shake hands, and bring a well-written, typed resume on nice paper.  For all my negative comments, it is possible you may meet someone who can help you.
  • Expect to stand in a lot of lines and set aside a couple of hours if it is a particularly large fair.

All-in-all, I think you are better off going to networking events specific to the type of job you want.  Join a club or go to the places where people with your career hang out.  Most careers are made through relationships, not cattle calls.

Six months of my new life

It just occurred to me that Alex and I have been in Pittsburgh for exactly six months now.  My emotions ran, and continue to run, a pretty broad gamut over this revelation.  I go back and forth between feeling like we’ve been here much longer, and gazing about at so many new things.  I am pleased with the progress we’ve made, but disappointed more hasn’t happened.

When we first decided to move, I had it in my head that by the time my nephew was back in school, we would be in our own place, both of us with good, permanent jobs.  Alex, who is much more of a pessimist, had made sure that R and E were comfortable with the possibility of us staying with them two years before we moved in.  I guess since I had such good luck getting something right away, I thought it would be a breeze for Alex, too.  (He took time out from his temp contract job to go to a job fair today.  He didn’t find it helpful.  I hate those things; they are always a complete waste of time. Hmm. Do I sense a new blog post?)

Anyway, there has been progress, though it’s been almost unbearably slow.  We’ve settled in with R, K, and E.  I think we all get along well.  The third short sale offer on the house in Memphis was approved; we just have to see if it will actually close this time.  Headway is being made on the short sale of the land in Florida; again, we’ll see if that actually pans out.  Paperwork to get rid of some of our more difficult properties has finally been filed.  We’ve been up to see my mom, taken a gander at some of the nearby sights, and found good places to eat.

But, we don’t have our own home and Alex just isn’t getting the nibbles we hoped for.  Until those two things happen I think I’ll always feel a little adrift.  In the back of my mind I have a little pocket of fear that the small amount of savings we have will be slowly chipped away to nothing.  That when we are in a position to find our own home, there will be nothing for deposits, or moving, or picking up the small things that may have been left behind.  That there will be no fall-back and nothing to show for our efforts. 

I suppose it isn’t surprising that I’m not sleeping well again.  My face and chest are also breaking out and my jaw is beginning to lock up.  All of my stress signs are back in full force.  It’s funny, I didn’t even realize I was getting uptight again until yesterday when I was looking in the mirror and fretting over my skin.

I’m going to have to breathe deep and let it go. 

*whoosh*  *whoosh*   *whoosh*  *whoosh*  (That’s me breathing.)

Ok. So my six month plan didn’t come to fruition.  We’re still moving forward and issues are still being resolved.  I’ll just have to tack on another six months.  After all, I’ve seen tons of articles on how the recession is over. (Yeah, I laughed at that one too.  Apparently, you just call it an “economic downturn” and somehow that makes it ok.)  As long as we keep trying, we will eventually reach our goals.